l-i-g-h-t

i went to fireworks on saturday night.

why do people drive all the way from the burbs to watch a half hour light show???? (that being said, it was really good...)
and why are people such jerks after they drive all the way in, get shitfaced and then watch the fireworks?
at first i was thinking that they should hold municipal elections at the same time as the fireworks because voter turnout would be huge, but then i realized that they're all jerks and for a moment, i was all for limiting democracy to the sober few.

but the firework show itself was great. i was beside a dad with a kid around his ears, slurping on a giant rocket popsicle, who kept saying "cool!" and made the half hour much more enjoyable. oh, and there were hot cops out too. for once i was all for excessive cop presence.

but another fireworks related thing - i like fireworks for the sheer evanescence of it all. they don't stick around - you're there or you're not - the sounds reverberate throughout the entire city, but a picture is never enough. you have to be there for the people, the sounds, the art. and it's lovely, and i realized, kind of sad. cuz that's all there is. the fireworks, the big bang, the ooooohs, the aaaahs, the clapping and then it's over. which is kind of a bummer in its specialness. it's kind of the same feeling i get on starry nights. they're so beautiful, and you feel so small, but so much part of the universe, so you feel special and bummed at the same time.

my mom comes out and visits tomorrow and i'm a little nervous - mostly because last time she visited, i was living with a bigger jerk than all of the fireworks jerks (ooh it rhymes!) combined. we're going to have fun and drive around and go to the island and then to my cousin's wedding. i bought a very pretty dress yesterday and i am very stoked to wear it and feel girlish. it should be fun. i'll try to do a mar and jess post while my mom's here just to introduce her to the technology.

ok - off to call my mom (whoops) and then out for a walk on the seawall with some dinner to go. oh, and i rode my bike yesterday which makes me happy and i rented "annie hall" which makes me even happier. lines like "i haven't been the same since i quit smoking" "when did you quit?" "14 years ago". AWESOME. i love woody allen. i know he's a perv, but he's a smart perv and something about the smart woman, neurotic guy thing reminds me of my parents a little. it helps that my dad bears a striking resemblance to the younger woody allen and that i think my mom is just as fabulous, if not more, than diane keaton. (although my mom does not say "la dee da".) and my parents would both totally wear these outfits. actually, the tennis scene where annie plays in a shirt with an upturned collar and alvie plays in his tennis whites could be a fictional rendition of my parents' style. so here are my fictional mom and dad - except my mom doesn't move to california and my dad is not in psychoanalysis or married to his adopted daughter (blech!).



do it for the eggs.

get this

i am a victim of FRAUD!

really!

i went to the grocery store on monday night and embarassingly, my card was rejected. but not in the old-fashioned "insufficient funds" kind of way. this time it was in the "limited card use - refer customer to branch" kind of way. so i started to sweat a little, while trying not to let on that i was having mild cardiac arrest. i left the grocery store with lisa, strolled back to her / andrew's place, numbed my brain out with cable (oh, sweet, sweet cable) and then dragged my butt home. i tried to access my bank account on line before bed but nope, wasn't happening. so i crashed out and woke up at 2:45 AM with a full panic attack (you know, the kind of panic attack where you try to force yourself to cry so it will break, but you're so panicky that you can't even do that? it was definitely not as bad as the one panic attack i had at age 20 where i couldn't move while i was washing my hair in the shower. i thought someone was going to have to peel me out of the shower but like any "attack", it passed. but i digress...). i got back to sleep maybe 45 minutes later after putting in my stupid nightguard to help my jaw relax and woke up 3 hours later in order to get to work. bit of a groggy day, and at lunch i called my bank.

another digression - i have a really old bank card. the top coating of plastic was peeling away, and i ordered another bank card and got one, but the old one was such a good conversation starter that i just couldn't get rid of it until it officially died. which it did on monday. point is, i had another card and all i had to do was use it and it would be activated. it all seemed so simple until the woman on the phone told me that i would have to go into a bank branch and tell them that face-to-face. so i had to leave work early, sweat on the skytrain and run to the bank before it closed so i could tell my sob story to the teller. she had me repeat my story twice, and then like the lady on the phone, essentially put me on hold while she stared blankly at the screen and called the manager over. he asked me again why i had come (apologies, bankers, i got a little salty at this point) and then told me that my card had been tagged because of potential fraud.

so then he escorted me (and kept calling me miss!) up to the offices and had me wait to meet a rep. my rep was sooooo nice and we talked through the whole thing. turns out that i have very set patterns. grocery stores, grocery stores, more grocery stores, bills, clothing stores, grocery stores, so it was pretty easy to pick out the irregularities. grocery store, $30, ATM $60, $500, $500, $400, $300, grocery store $30. uh, the three digit ones would be the fraud. those pesky sneaky thieves got $800 though they tried for more.

long story, short.... wait, it's long already... well, i got the money back, had to change my PIN and now am only ever using official bank machines and i'm going to start carrying a large billfold (yah, right). although, honestly it's so arbitrary as to when the criminalz got my info. it honestly could have been anywhere. the weird part was when my rep asked me where i'd been the day the money was taken out. luckily, i was with people for most of the day, and then i was with mr. harry potter for the night. that's an adequate alibi right? "i was looking for the deathly hallows!" while the lightbulb swings overhead.

i really liked the woman who helped me. i might even see her at the farmers market on saturday since she said that she lives in the neighbourhood and has never gone. i'm excited because she was nice, but at the same time, what do you talk about with the woman who fought crime in your bank account? i'm scared it's going to be all jokes about PINs and other lame ATM jokes ("hide your password! want some kale?").

so that was the "mayjah" drama of the week. then on tuesday night, after it was all settled, i got my period at 2:45 AM. sick joke. so wednesday was a bit of a groggy day too. i went for a swim at english bay last night which was amazing and refreshing - fecal chloroforms be damned! it was lovely. then my friend and i got dinner and ate it at the beach with the hordes of fireworks freaks. we finished our dinner too early though and didn't want to wait another hour and a half until the sky exploded so we went back to my friend's place and watched cable. (oh sweet, sweet cable - see what i mean about patterns?)

and now it's thursday, which means tomorrow is friday and i am almost done week 3 at le job. it's been a rough week but it's been ok. just pretty tiring.

now to yoga (a home practice cuz the class i was going to go to is just too close to when i get home and i have to get all caught up on dlisted and perezhilton and laineygossip), then food, then maybe some cuddling with the new yorker. talk of the town, indeed.

a circle has no beginning

but the harry potter series has an end.

and what a glorious end it was. i started it last night at 6 pm and read until 10 pm, slept for the perfect 8 hours and woke up at 6:15 am and just finished it at 9:30 am. wow. i feel like i shouldn't even write about the experience since it still has to seep in.

granted, plowiing through it doesn't help me remember details which should be in my brain when the crucial moments come (one moment literally had me mentally saying, "huh?" but i kept plowing on anyway, and i actually still don't get it - maybe that's what the internet is for...). but it was great. and i am sad that the series is over, but happy for the messages it sent out - believe in yourself, love each other, be a good friend, life is difficult and suffering is part of life, it takes all kinds, read books, live life and most of all, life is magical. this to me is the key message and having spoken of my excitement for the book and movie all week, and hearing people respond by saying, "i just don't get it", i have come to the realization that what they don't get is the magic. literalists may have a hard time with this series.

so now i have the rest of the day to do something and i think i might go up to whistler to watch some dudes on mountain bikes. that's not totally for sure, but i want to get out of the city.

and here are some people who "get" the magic factor. i am sure that the kid on the right gets it - he's soooo coool. this is my fave pic of all of the muggle potter freaks on the planet.



and a p.s. being who i am, i was kind of pissed that it was all masculine by the end of my reading, but then i remembered Lyra from the Golden Compass and felt happy again. so if you get pissy about the bro effect, then pick up "his Dark Materials" and revel in it. but only after you've read mr. potter and friends. okay, must stop - so close to saying too much.

waiter, there's a magnet in my cup

really, there was a magnet at the bottom of my o.j. this morning. it had fallen off the fridge and into the fridge but i couldn't find it, so i just shut the fridge door and went on with life. a couple of hours later i decided to finally drink the glass of o.j. that i'd left in the fridge for about 3 days and found the magnet.... at the bottom of my cup.

i'm pooped. all this getting up and going to work stuff is overrated, but necessary. the funny thing is, the hours are humane, so i'm not as exhausted as i used to be and i still have a lot of energy to do stuff which is new and funny-feeling. i was all set to sit on my butt all weekend and watch endless movies but i've actually been outside for most of the weekend, save this morning. (ok - i saw the new harry potter last night which ROCKED... run, don't walk and make sure you go pee before it).

so the job is good. i have some political issues with it, but overall it's a good job and i can translate my concerns into good community development. it's just a bit of a headache at times. the people are so friendly and fun, but they are recreational programmers and it seems like every sentence starts with "i was out for a run last night...." or "i'm on a soccer team..." which just makes me want to light up a cigarette while they're talking.

(i know... i shouldn't be so critical, but it's the first week and i'm just trying to suss out what i'm dealing with and how i'm going to operate in this group of folks. it's good but just a little different from the social justice framework that i'm used to living my life in.)

anyway, life's good - i just have to do some errands because i don't get to stay home tomorrow. and my mom is booked to come out for a visit and i am so excited.

random post for a random day and now it's time to buy some soy milk.

lady, he's a sandwich

the title of this post is one of my favourite sex and the city lines. miranda has walked past a man in a sandwich suit handing out flyers accompanied by "eat me" which she finds harassing to women. so she walks in and complains to the manager who tells her, "lady, he's a sandwich". and in response to her continued complaints, he responds, "but lady, he's a sandwich."

which is how i'm feeling right now after day one at le job. i woke up early and successfully got out of bed (thoughts of my brother and mom saying "two feet on the floor" propelled me to accomplish just that), had a wonderful morning complete with latte, and then strutted my ass down to the skytrain and did the morning commute. a lot of people do the morning commute, and after watching copious amounts of sex and the city, i felt like maybe, just maybe, i was in new york.

and then i got to work, met with my manager and then had a team meeting. the people are so nice and everyone seems really targeted to their jobs and seem pretty great. i had meetings with a bunch of different people with different roles and had a tour of the building (showers upstairs in case i ride to work) and got up close and personal with my cubicle.

my cubicle is nice enough, but it's a cubicle. i used to think that dilbert was a funny commentary on corporate america and that the office was priceless comedy, but now i am feeling how strongly rooted the comedy is in the daily lived experience of being under fluorescent bulbs with no windows. if i brought a plant into work it would die (unless it was a cactus - thank you lisa for the suggestion). if something's gotta give, first thing is going to be your sanity.

but i digress. my office has people in it - 18 more than my previous office - that's right, it's an office of 19. and it has a kitchen with plates and a dishwasher and an espresso machine and fridges and tables where people can eat. and when i was chatting with my manager about personnel policies and contracts, she actually said that they were trying to create an environment where people felt safe and respected. i nearly cried.

and this is where i wander into my wishy washy miranda anger. because after today (and i fully admit that i am tired and therefore not overly rational) i feel angry. angry that noone told me that this is what work should actually be like, that there are places where there are pre-existing systems that you don't have to worry about inventing, or creating time to invent them, and where people are nice and concerned for your well-being. this place stands in such sharp contrast to some of my previous workplaces where the people are concerned for the well-being of society, but exploit your passion for humankind in the interest of their workplace budgets. and that is bullshit. (i also take responsibility for letting them exploit me and for being so passionate, but still, these are older professionals who have jobs where they are safe and respected and know better, and still knowingly take advantage of people). i keep thinking: egregious, egregious, egregious behaviour.

so i just remember my high school french teacher who told me that i have to control my passion. she didn't mean this in a limiting, derisive way, but instead out of love, told me that i need to reign in my passion and remain objective about my work and my subject matter. objectivity created better work - she was perhaps my first yoga teacher. go inside yourself to go outside yourself and detach, detach, detach.

like padmini and the sandwich manager would say, "lady, it's only a job". and a good one at that.

last day of freedom

uh oh.

starting tomorrow, i'm back in the land of the working. back in the realm of wake up early, make my lunch, try to get everything together, pack up my bag, leave my house, go back to my house because inevitably, i forgot something, then go to work.

i have to admit, i am excited about it. about having something to do, and having some more motivation about getting things done, but i am also not excited about getting up early and getting on the skytrain. i am also, in true girly style, more concerned about my wardrobe than about my actual ability to do the job. so today, i'm going shoe shopping since i will actually have a workplace where i can't wear my flip flops to work (correction: my $5 Old Navy flip flops - i might get some nicer leather ones).
argh - i hate being so materialistic, but i am recognizing this as an opportunity to build my wardrobe and get some appropriate clothes.

i am living my mom's dream for me - i have finally found a job where i sit in an office and work and have to wear professional clothes. i think this is the universe's birthday gift to my mom. really, it's her birthday today. and she is the best mom EVER. (i know some other contenders for "best mom ever" but hey, she's my mom and hence the best.)

i be employed

just got a job doing community development.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

i am very very very happy.
it's one of those things where from the minute i saw the posting, i got that "i like that" tingle combined with the "i want that" shiver. and i like and got it.

only thing is i start on monday which is soon but, hey, i've had 2 months off and it's not like i have to postpone it in order to do anything other than lounge on the beach and read. which is what i'm going to do today, along with lots of SHOPPING.

mama's gotta brand new bag, biiiitttccchheeez. that's in a figurative and possibly literal sense - i've been eyeing some bags at roots and today might just be the day jessica wessica stops drooling and coveting and just buys the damn thing.

and it's my dad's birthday - happy birthday, dad!
now for some coffee. (yes, i lived on the wild side and actually did something before ingesting my morning drug).

why i love america (and marvin)

i can't believe i'm posting on independence day and not on canada day but whatever.

only marvin can turn a national anthem into the ultimate slow jam. i really need to find out where he got those beats cuz i need some of those for when i'm walking down the street. oh yes, and the shades too.