yuppers, i did not go swimming.
it's good - not to get all diary-entry here - but i think it's positive that i'm not being so hard on myself, and that i can actually just go for walks and sit on benches and get into novels and not feel like i have to "improve" my life somehow. i think i might be liking myself a lot more. i've been going for walks down by the seawall every night and have been laying low, while slowly coming out of the hideout and doing what i have to do and what i want to do.
so today i am going to the farm to help out and i'm also going out for lunch. yahoo! i'm very excited for both of these things. and then i'm coming back either tomorrow night or on saturday morning for yoga and then my friend's arrival on saturday night. i'm going to try to spend more time at the farm if possible - but i've also gotten some interviews, so i have to make sure i'm prepped for those as well.
oh man, i'm boring myself. i wish i had more exciting things to say but i don't. other than i see herons all the time when i go for my walks and that feels very special somehow. i like how they crane their necks before they thrust their heads in the water. i also like when they go through that entire process of craning their necks, staring off into the water for about 7 minutes then the thrust and come up with nothing. they're cute when they shake their heads and then they just do it all over again. seems like a metaphor for something larger, but i just think they're cute and majestic at the same time.
and a question: can a heron "crane" its neck? or is that reserved for cranes? yes, that was my deep thought from my walk last night. off to frolick in the kale.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
i have nothing interesting to say
really, i don't.
other than i have reached the height of laziness and am really feeling the urge for direction in my life. i have been sleeping a lot even though i'm totally well rested and now am waking up at 5:30 because i'm done sleeping and also because the birds are freaking out. (i go back to sleep and get up at 8:30ish). it's nice that i'm so relaxed but i'm also concerned that i'm almost toooooo relaxed. (for example, i have to set my alarm for 8 am.... my alarm.... and i normally hit snooze).
my version of doing nothing normally involves lots of something, but in this case, nope, it's actually a whole lot of nothing. and my friend is coming back from the island tonight, and i'm going to have to come up with something that i did in the 4 days that she was gone other than "i lounged around in my pjs".
anyhoo, i'm making myself go swimming so i don't feel like my ass is swollen all the time, but i have to be honest in that, i'm concerned that with my laziness, i'll just go down to the beach, soak up some rays and then come back home.
now that i've written that, it really doesn't seem so bad.
other than i have reached the height of laziness and am really feeling the urge for direction in my life. i have been sleeping a lot even though i'm totally well rested and now am waking up at 5:30 because i'm done sleeping and also because the birds are freaking out. (i go back to sleep and get up at 8:30ish). it's nice that i'm so relaxed but i'm also concerned that i'm almost toooooo relaxed. (for example, i have to set my alarm for 8 am.... my alarm.... and i normally hit snooze).
my version of doing nothing normally involves lots of something, but in this case, nope, it's actually a whole lot of nothing. and my friend is coming back from the island tonight, and i'm going to have to come up with something that i did in the 4 days that she was gone other than "i lounged around in my pjs".
anyhoo, i'm making myself go swimming so i don't feel like my ass is swollen all the time, but i have to be honest in that, i'm concerned that with my laziness, i'll just go down to the beach, soak up some rays and then come back home.
now that i've written that, it really doesn't seem so bad.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
first houseguest
in my new pad.
i'm typing away in the living room while she sleeps in my bed (i could not bring myself to go to bed so early so i'm crashing on my murphy bed).
yay for friends from faraway who are suddenly so close.
sweet dreams.
i'm typing away in the living room while she sleeps in my bed (i could not bring myself to go to bed so early so i'm crashing on my murphy bed).
yay for friends from faraway who are suddenly so close.
sweet dreams.
attention fellow watergate nerds
i am a die-hard woodstein fan.
i could watch all the president's men over and over and over.
i get goose bumps whenever i hear the words "bob woodward", "carl bernstein", "ben bradlee", "katherine graham" and "segretti" mentioned together or alone.
so you can imagine my excitement when i was digging through a slide show of archived items at the ransom literary archives courtesy of the new yorker and found this pic....
if you look closely, you can see that it's bob woodward's first notes about the watergate scandal and his press pass.
follow the money, people. follow the money.
i could watch all the president's men over and over and over.
i get goose bumps whenever i hear the words "bob woodward", "carl bernstein", "ben bradlee", "katherine graham" and "segretti" mentioned together or alone.
so you can imagine my excitement when i was digging through a slide show of archived items at the ransom literary archives courtesy of the new yorker and found this pic....
if you look closely, you can see that it's bob woodward's first notes about the watergate scandal and his press pass.
follow the money, people. follow the money.
Monday, June 11, 2007
his hotness
here's my new boyfriend, simon, as he crosses the line.
booya.
p.s. don't look too closely cuz you will have a billy blanks tae-bo moment. julia, you know what i'm talking about....
do the math
yesterday was such a great day.
i woke up to a phone call from my family and chatted with my bro and mom. then i surfed the internet which i finally have again at home and then decided to go for a walk as a pre-emptive strike before going completely insane. so i walked to the end of my street and discovered the international triathlon. i watched women zoom by on their bikes and then walked down to the seawall and watched them run by. and they were fast. and they were brick shithouses. seriously - these women were HUGE, but lean in their hugeness. most of all, they were and still probably are, fit - very fit.
i heard that the men were starting at 3 so i walked along the seawall, got a coffee and walked far enough to get to the end of their swim so i could see them transition to their bikes. i plunked my ass down on a log and watched this line of extremely fast arms splashing through the water out in the bay and then watched them run out of the water. if the women were brick shithouses, the men were brick shitmansions. seriously, they were HUGE and lean and pretty much amazing specimens of manhood, at least from an aesthetic point of view. then i walked along the seawall back towards the city and watched them do 8 laps on their bikes. they were so fast - and i had just finished "it's not about the bike" by lance armstrong earlier in the week so was totally transfixed by what i will call "le peloton" or the pack of really fast dudes and then the other "peloton" which was a larger pack of not-as-fast dudes. and then they ran 4 loops and simon whitfield - the canadian triathlete god - won the race. yyyyyesssssss.
which brings me to math and today.
i was feeling so inspired that i looked up "my first triathlon" websites all morning and then decided that i would go up to north van and ride my bike and be all "lancita armstrong" and shit. but i'm not that good at math which had a deleterious effect on my ride. i threw my bike in the car (which always makes me feel kinda dumb - i mean, why not just ride there?) and drove over to the mountains.
so first miscalculation - leave the city which is threatening to have some serious sunshine for the grey grey mountains in the distance.
then on the way out the door, throw on your velour jacket since you don't need no stinkin' goretex cuz you're HARDCORE.
then drive and sing your heart out in the car, and choke your heart down as it rises into your throat as you put the wipers on full throttle going over the bridge into the land of mordor (sorry, north van).
then go for a ride which is distinctly uphill.
then try to ignore the fact that your hands are bright red, as are your ankles cuz you wore capris and shoes with no socks cuz it's summer, right?
then grind by two elderly cyclists who are coasting downhill the other way in matching bike jackets who tell you "it's cold up there!".
this is where my calculator started to work:
"it's cold". yes - hands frozen and ankles.
"up there". wha? am i not "up" enough? there's more "up" "up there"??
and finally the large equation "it's cold up there" which meant it was even colder up at the top of the stupidly long hill i was on and had been for the past 2.5 k.
so was i lancita armstrong? hell no, because lancita armstrong is a freak of nature who wins hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money not to mention the endorsement cash that comes after winning epic races which necessitate training of this sort.
i am not lancita armstrong, although i would like to think i am. i instead, am jess who really wants to go to a yoga class tonight and doesn't feel the need to die of hypothermia before then.
so i graciously turned around, coasted downhill and threw ye olde bike in the car and drove home to the hot hot city.
i'll become a brick shithouse tomorrow. maybe. if there are cupcakes at the end.
i woke up to a phone call from my family and chatted with my bro and mom. then i surfed the internet which i finally have again at home and then decided to go for a walk as a pre-emptive strike before going completely insane. so i walked to the end of my street and discovered the international triathlon. i watched women zoom by on their bikes and then walked down to the seawall and watched them run by. and they were fast. and they were brick shithouses. seriously - these women were HUGE, but lean in their hugeness. most of all, they were and still probably are, fit - very fit.
i heard that the men were starting at 3 so i walked along the seawall, got a coffee and walked far enough to get to the end of their swim so i could see them transition to their bikes. i plunked my ass down on a log and watched this line of extremely fast arms splashing through the water out in the bay and then watched them run out of the water. if the women were brick shithouses, the men were brick shitmansions. seriously, they were HUGE and lean and pretty much amazing specimens of manhood, at least from an aesthetic point of view. then i walked along the seawall back towards the city and watched them do 8 laps on their bikes. they were so fast - and i had just finished "it's not about the bike" by lance armstrong earlier in the week so was totally transfixed by what i will call "le peloton" or the pack of really fast dudes and then the other "peloton" which was a larger pack of not-as-fast dudes. and then they ran 4 loops and simon whitfield - the canadian triathlete god - won the race. yyyyyesssssss.
which brings me to math and today.
i was feeling so inspired that i looked up "my first triathlon" websites all morning and then decided that i would go up to north van and ride my bike and be all "lancita armstrong" and shit. but i'm not that good at math which had a deleterious effect on my ride. i threw my bike in the car (which always makes me feel kinda dumb - i mean, why not just ride there?) and drove over to the mountains.
so first miscalculation - leave the city which is threatening to have some serious sunshine for the grey grey mountains in the distance.
then on the way out the door, throw on your velour jacket since you don't need no stinkin' goretex cuz you're HARDCORE.
then drive and sing your heart out in the car, and choke your heart down as it rises into your throat as you put the wipers on full throttle going over the bridge into the land of mordor (sorry, north van).
then go for a ride which is distinctly uphill.
then try to ignore the fact that your hands are bright red, as are your ankles cuz you wore capris and shoes with no socks cuz it's summer, right?
then grind by two elderly cyclists who are coasting downhill the other way in matching bike jackets who tell you "it's cold up there!".
this is where my calculator started to work:
"it's cold". yes - hands frozen and ankles.
"up there". wha? am i not "up" enough? there's more "up" "up there"??
and finally the large equation "it's cold up there" which meant it was even colder up at the top of the stupidly long hill i was on and had been for the past 2.5 k.
so was i lancita armstrong? hell no, because lancita armstrong is a freak of nature who wins hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money not to mention the endorsement cash that comes after winning epic races which necessitate training of this sort.
i am not lancita armstrong, although i would like to think i am. i instead, am jess who really wants to go to a yoga class tonight and doesn't feel the need to die of hypothermia before then.
so i graciously turned around, coasted downhill and threw ye olde bike in the car and drove home to the hot hot city.
i'll become a brick shithouse tomorrow. maybe. if there are cupcakes at the end.
annals of the unemployed
soooo
it's been a while, a long while, since i posted which coincidentally corresponds exactly to when i finished my job. (ok, i finished 5 days later).
being unemployed is good. just stressful in the long stretch of days and the push/pull effect of looking for a job (i.e. wavering between, "wow! i love being unemployed and not having anything to do" and "wow! if i don't get out of my apartment sometime soon i will kill someone, most likely myself". not good.)
since becoming a freebird, i had a lovely time of intense decompression. think lots of movie-watching, quilt-making, frantic making of lists of things i would do while unemployed, frantic unmaking of lists since i was unemployed, goddammit, and didn't want/need lists to propel my day, and finally, lots of sleeping.
then i had the best family visit ever in windsor and just hung out with my mom, my niece, my bro and sister-in-law and my grandparents. it was amazing.
then i came back to vancouver and got the blues. i missed my family and finally clued into the fact that i was not on vacation, that i need a job to pay those dastardly things called bills and then i got angry. the org i used to work for owes me money which they have still to pay (which infuriates me) and i also had shit to do which i wasn't doing. and i got angry at myself for being angry at myself which is nice and circular and always productive. so i gave that up, although it comes back in waves, and i decided to exercise. i've been deep into my yoga practice and i've also been swimming in preparation for a race that i haven't registered for yet, but which i imagine i am in every time i get in the pool and mentally pummel the other swimmers while they happily do their lengths.
i've also had the bestest visitors since i've been unemployed - janet and chachi came and alice is coming in only two sleeps. it's nice that they've been here and it's nice too that i have nothing but time for them. oh and fine hospitality - i have that too. and my friends rock. but a lot of them work although i've been promoting the "freedom 28" lifestyle to anyone that can afford it.
that's all. i doubt anyone reads this thing anymore but i will persist since i have the time.
it's been a while, a long while, since i posted which coincidentally corresponds exactly to when i finished my job. (ok, i finished 5 days later).
being unemployed is good. just stressful in the long stretch of days and the push/pull effect of looking for a job (i.e. wavering between, "wow! i love being unemployed and not having anything to do" and "wow! if i don't get out of my apartment sometime soon i will kill someone, most likely myself". not good.)
since becoming a freebird, i had a lovely time of intense decompression. think lots of movie-watching, quilt-making, frantic making of lists of things i would do while unemployed, frantic unmaking of lists since i was unemployed, goddammit, and didn't want/need lists to propel my day, and finally, lots of sleeping.
then i had the best family visit ever in windsor and just hung out with my mom, my niece, my bro and sister-in-law and my grandparents. it was amazing.
then i came back to vancouver and got the blues. i missed my family and finally clued into the fact that i was not on vacation, that i need a job to pay those dastardly things called bills and then i got angry. the org i used to work for owes me money which they have still to pay (which infuriates me) and i also had shit to do which i wasn't doing. and i got angry at myself for being angry at myself which is nice and circular and always productive. so i gave that up, although it comes back in waves, and i decided to exercise. i've been deep into my yoga practice and i've also been swimming in preparation for a race that i haven't registered for yet, but which i imagine i am in every time i get in the pool and mentally pummel the other swimmers while they happily do their lengths.
i've also had the bestest visitors since i've been unemployed - janet and chachi came and alice is coming in only two sleeps. it's nice that they've been here and it's nice too that i have nothing but time for them. oh and fine hospitality - i have that too. and my friends rock. but a lot of them work although i've been promoting the "freedom 28" lifestyle to anyone that can afford it.
that's all. i doubt anyone reads this thing anymore but i will persist since i have the time.
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