today is the day of the gerund. see other blog posts for an -ing kind of day.
so i haven't posted in so long since i'm wrestling, scrabbling with, tossing around a number of larger issues in my head that needed to simmer in my brain before being blurted out in the blogosphere. and most of me was pretty sure that they didn't even belong here, but now, after much fermenting in the old cranium, here they are.
the past couple of months have been consumed with a whole lot of homesickness in its various forms, all which raised the following questions:
* If everyone is getting older, and i want to be around them when they are around, how can i live on the west coast and make it work?
* If Air Canada and every other airline on the planet is charging fuel surcharges on the only mode of transportation that allows me to see my family, can i really afford to live here?
* And if my friends and family are spread out over the globe, where is home?
* And who is trusted and safe and feels most like home, if my energy is not infinite and i have to be discerning with my time?
and smaller issues like:
* I love my job, but what's the next step?
* How can i live my dream of having a hobby farm, doing and teaching yoga and meditation, writing the great Canadian novel and snowboarding?
i gotta tell you, i'm stumped. but maybe simply by asking the questions, i'll get some answers.
i have a funny feeling that i'm either becoming a grown-up or am one already. probably the latter.
2 comments:
those are all questions that make sense... especially to me. so i'm gonna go through my thought process on it, and see if that helps at all :)
as someone who also tends to live far away from the loved ones, i found that important things to think about were - am i living a life that makes sense to me right now? and if so, can i find ways to make the harder stuff work?
in my case, i do love my work right now, and the life that goes with it, even though it takes me sooooooooo far away from the people i love.
when i take time off to see my family and friends, i get to do it in large chunks, and spend lots of time with them, and it's special time for me because i have nothing else to really worry about.
(mind you the first week of such visits i'm usually fighting back massive massive jet lag... c'est la vie).
and even when i'm far away, the world is so interconnected that i can count on phone calls, skype and other forms of communications that make it much easier to keep in contact. when i compare the cost of calling people from abroad, i'm astounded to know, it's cheaper than phone calls within bc used to be (back in the .36 cents a minute).
mind you, it doesn't stop me from having heartbreaking moments of sadness where i sit staring (and bawling) at photos of a family gathering. but those moments will happen. and the crazy thing is, they will happen whether you are 100, 500 or 5000km away from home.
ohhhh this is getting long. tell you what, i'll come over on wednesday and we'll drink tea and chat more ok? and in case you are interested, i do think you are an adult, and this is a very adult question. the early adult years we are busy trying to find 'our space' but then we hit the late twenties, and suddenly realise our space includes a lot of the places we've left behind.
you'll figure it out though... you are a very smart cookie.
xo
j
See you in a month or so, lover. ``Itll be okay.
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See you in a month or so, lover. ``Itll be okay.
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